Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – UK

Molly Children Of The Universe United Kingdom

Holy crap, this is it! This is the last part, part 37 (THIRTY-SEVEN!) of our 37 part breakdown of the Eurovison Song Contest. With the Contest starting on Tuesday, we are closing rapidly on when I post my official picks on Monday, but in order to get there, we hve one last piece of business to complete, and to do it, we will have to take a short hop to London to take in some Molly.

Artist: Molly

Song: “Children of the Universe”

Analysis: She’s a decent singer, but the song is just this side of vanilla of being interesting. It’s not bad, but it’s not memorable either, though the song, I think is trying to actually make a point. And what the hell is with the “Power to the people” line? What’s she trying to do, start a proletariat revolt?

Verdict: You know, I don’t know. You see, in the wake of Emmelie de Forrest’s win, it is entirely possible that the industry judges would want to sound like someone put a basic beat on Florence Welch. In that case, could Molly be a dark horse? Maybe? I feel no, but some kind of better’s instinct is saying yes. If yes, then well done UK, you will have avenged yourselves of the horror that was Scooch. I have a hunch that it will sound more electronic since now everyone is trying to ride that (and I get to gloat even more), and I’m hoping a bit more quality too. If no, then middle of the pack almost certainly.


Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Italy


Welcome to part 35 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. We continue the looks at the Big Five today with the video that I started the whole handicapping enterprise with. Fresh from the streetrs of Rome, let’s see what we have from the lovely Emma Marone!

Artist: Emma Marrone

Song: “La ma città”

Analysis: For a straight rocks song, it’s not that bad. Marone has a decent range, and when she’s not shouting the words out instead of singing them, she’s a decent singer. The lyrics (that I translated) are your standard early 2000s Avril Lavigne/P!nk rebel chick singer lyrics, nothing too beyond the pale. All around, it’s a standard pop song.

Verdict: When I saw the video for this song when I wrote the draft for this post in early March, I thought this was an early lock. I watched her live at the Germany song selection webcast, and I don’t believe she’s a lock anymore. The live performance was pretty good, but I think other countries have surpassed her. I think she’ll make a run for top ten, but she may not get there.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Denmark


Welcome to part 32 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. We’ve come to the last week for the breakdown, and as such, we get into the Big Five and host countries entries! For those just joining the program, the Big Five are the countries who pay for it, which are France, England, Germany, Italy, and Spain. Because of this, they are automatically in through the Finals. The host country also gets the free pass, so today, we will start with the host country, Denmark!

Artist: Basim

Song: “Cliche Love Song”

Analysis: Okay, I know that back to back wins are not the most common thing, but Denmark has a real shot at this. The track is poppy (VERY poppy), which means it’s damn near impossible for Basim, who actually can sing (though this song is all more or less in the same octave) to mess up. Germany in 2010 and 2011 was the last country that I felt could pull it off, but I have a feeling that people are predisposed to shoot down the back to back attempt. Without re-litigating 2011 too much, “Taken By A Stranger” I don’t think was given the credit that it was due, and because “Satellite” was so quirky, we had to take a hard right to pop, hence “Running Scared”, “Euphoria” and “Only Teardrops” (Kylie Minogue/Sophie Ellis-Bextor, prototypical Zedd and Hayley Williams, and Taylor Swift, respectively).

Verdict: Given the field, it should blow through the countries who made it through semi-final 2, but I don’t think it gets much higher. There are too many other good songs, that I can’t justify it winning out, but I will give it high marks and a likely top ten finish.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Switzerland


Welcome to…where are we at now? ..part 28 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. A visit to the land of cheese and cuckoo clocks awaits us today, as we see if Sebalter has the goods to win!

Artist: Sebalter

Song: “Hunter of Stars”

Analysis: I don’t particularly dig country or folk, but okay, I see what you did there. Here’s a factoid for the Swiss: 100% of the tracks that opened to whistling have been miserable failures. Something to consider. Also, if you’re going to play violin, be good at it, and not tricky, and for God’s sake, you should be the only performer who’s going to be on stage if you are. Just ask Alexander Rybak about that.

Verdict: Sebalter is good enough to reach the finals, but I don’t think they’ll win it. I do anticipate a nice showing from them. 10th, maybe 11th, but I don’t see them poping off too huge

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Ireland


Welcome to part 25 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is brought to us by way of Dublin, Ireland. Looking to push away the irrepressible stench of Dustin the Turkey even farther, Ireland has turned to Can-Linn and Kasey Smith. Can-they win one for Dublin and go crawlin’ in the streets?

Artist: Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith

Song: “Heartbeat”

Analysis: You know, I have mixed feelings about every bit of this deal. Decent electronic track, question the choice of including traditional Irish instruments on it (as opposed from going straight analog). Good singer, great lyrics, don’t know if this is the song to be doing it with. Decent vocals, but maybe there should be more vocalists to add to a sense of depth? I don’t know. And what the hell is with the two guys jigging?

Verdict: I buy that “Heartbeat” is a contender. I even buy that it could pop high in the finals, but I just don’t see where the votes are coming from. Also, I don’t see them beating out anyone from the first semis. This could be a dark horse, but again, I just don’t see it.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Finland


Welcome to part 24 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is from the land of the Hard Rock Hallelujah, Finland! Softengine decidedly is no Lordi, but do they have the chops to bring it back to Helsinki?

Artist: Softengine

Song: “Something Better”


Analysis: You know, the song itself is not a bad song. It’s poppy as hell, but then again, what do you expect from a bunch of teens? The lead vocalist is fricking terrible. It’s like he’s trying to be Bono, who himself is not a great vocalist. Okay, maybe “fricking terrible” is a bit too strong. He needs to stop performing and just deliver. Also, that falsetto is not helping him, and he needs to quiet it down, let the music do some of the work. And for fuck’s sake, LOSE THE GODDAMN KERCHIEF!

Verdict: I don’t think they’ll have too much trouble finding their way into the finals. The question then becomes where will they fall. I can see them being in the upper half of the finals relatively easily, but I’m not sure where. I don’t think they make top five, but I can see top ten.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Lithuania


Welcome to part 23 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Vilija Matačiūnaitė has been chosen to bring the Contest to Vilnius, the question is: does she have a hope in hell of pulling it off?

Artist: Vilija Matačiūnaitė

Song: “Attention”

Analysis: The only good thing about this track is the use of piano. It takes a lot for me to not like an electronic track. This sounds like someone who just figured out how to run a synth and drum machine. Don’t get me started on the vocalist. I can’t pronounce her name, and she can’t sing. Hell she even chant or shout!

Verdict: There is no way she wins this. Hell, I don’t think she gets out of the semis, and that’s saying something with this semis group. Most, if not all, of the tracks have have legit shots at winning are in the first half. To get in the finals on this bottom half, all you have to do is not suck. And if you do suck, it’s gotta be a lot, and unfortunately, I think that is what we have here.