Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Denmark


Welcome to part 32 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. We’ve come to the last week for the breakdown, and as such, we get into the Big Five and host countries entries! For those just joining the program, the Big Five are the countries who pay for it, which are France, England, Germany, Italy, and Spain. Because of this, they are automatically in through the Finals. The host country also gets the free pass, so today, we will start with the host country, Denmark!

Artist: Basim

Song: “Cliche Love Song”

Analysis: Okay, I know that back to back wins are not the most common thing, but Denmark has a real shot at this. The track is poppy (VERY poppy), which means it’s damn near impossible for Basim, who actually can sing (though this song is all more or less in the same octave) to mess up. Germany in 2010 and 2011 was the last country that I felt could pull it off, but I have a feeling that people are predisposed to shoot down the back to back attempt. Without re-litigating 2011 too much, “Taken By A Stranger” I don’t think was given the credit that it was due, and because “Satellite” was so quirky, we had to take a hard right to pop, hence “Running Scared”, “Euphoria” and “Only Teardrops” (Kylie Minogue/Sophie Ellis-Bextor, prototypical Zedd and Hayley Williams, and Taylor Swift, respectively).

Verdict: Given the field, it should blow through the countries who made it through semi-final 2, but I don’t think it gets much higher. There are too many other good songs, that I can’t justify it winning out, but I will give it high marks and a likely top ten finish.


Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Romania


Welcome to part 31 of our 37 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is special because it marks the last entry of the semis! Next week will be all Big five, and then Monday, May 5, I’ll post my picks. The country that gets the honor of being the last is… Romania!

Artist: Paula Seling & Ovi

Song: “Miracle”

Analysis: If I can count on the Romanians for one thing, it’s to come up with some kind of techno track, or a gimmicky song that has no chance in hell at winning for one reason or another. Vocals are decent for what it is, whoever came up with the track should probably enter this themselves

Verdict: I could totally work with this track, but I don’t think it’ll win only because I HIGHLY doubt Paula could pull off that hella long note through three or four octaves live. If she can and does, then this would be a dark horse, if not the dark horse choice.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Slovenia


Welcome to part 30 of our 37 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Tomorrow is the last entry in the semis (Whoo!) but today, we take a penultimate pause in Ljubljana to give Tinkara Kovač a shot to impress the oddsmakers

Artist: Tinkara Kovač

Song: “Round and Round”

Analysis: Wow, she’s a flautist, nice touch. Kovač is a good singer with a small range.  She’s a bit of a looker, so that I’m sure will work in her favor too. The song is poppy, but it works. It’s overall a good entry

Verdict: This song is surprisingly catchy. So much so that it automatically qualifies for dark horse contention. This song has a good shot at winning if she can keep it simple but add a spike of energy to it. It would likely be in the top half of the finals. I can even see it being top ten, but I’m not sure it will go down that way.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Greece


Welcome to part 29 (God, are we really only at 29?) of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. It’s been eight years since Athens last had their season in the sun. It will take a lot of Greece’s entry’s namesake, Freaky Fortune, to deliver them a show. Let’s see what they’ve got:

Artist: Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd

Song: “Get Up”

Analysis: This is so much Pitbull laziness that it is kind of ridiculous.The lyrics are weak, the vocals are decent, and the track is probably the most phoned in that I have heard at Eurovision in a while. The performance itself is a little boring, and these guys look pretty damn douchey, so all things considered, it’s a perfect cloying pop track.

Verdict: This track has a pretty good shot at making the finals, but once there, it doesn’t go far. I don’t think they’ll get eviscerated, but they surely have no shot at winning this thing.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Macedonia


This is part…God, what are we up to now? 27  of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Skopje is one of the last places on Earth one would remember existed, but will their entry to the Contest will definitely make you remember the name, and possibly host it? Let’s take a look!

Artist: Tijana

Song: “To the Sky”

Analysis: Well, it’s definitely a pop song, and it’s actually pretty well done. Tijana has a pretty good, albeit low, range, and has good command of it. The melody is quite catchy for a pop-techno track. There’s not that many lyrics, that is to say there’s a verse and then the chorus is repeated fifty-seven times, but that’s okay in this case, she’s doing more than enough to look beyond that issue. Whether or not she can do it for real, live, we’ll see.

Verdict: Definitely makes the finals. Definitely makes a good run, the question is how high? I can make a pretty good argument for the win. I don’t think it will since there are a few tracks that are better in my opinion, but she’s definitely top ten, maybe even top five.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Belarus


Part 26 of our 39 part run up to the start of the Eurovision Song Contest means it’s time to hit up Minsk. Checking in with Teo, Belarus thinks they just might have a shot. Do they? Let’s find out!

Artist: Teo

Song: “Cheesecake”

Analysis: The track is catchy and poppy, but Sweet mother of God, Teo, what do your lyrics even mean? “I’m not Patrick Swayze, you’re no Jennifer Grey?” I thought this was the 2010s, not the 1980s! Not that there’s anything wrong with the 80s, that’s when I was born, I would have figured that if he’s going to throw out a movie couple reference, it would be a better one than that. Also, if he could find his way around to actually singing, I think he’d be in business

Verdict: Teo should make it to the finals, barring a complete meltdown, but that’s when it could get interesting. If he can sing this song, and do a job, he may hit dark horse territory. If he just phones in this performance, he’ll be on the bottom side of the average mark

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Ireland


Welcome to part 25 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is brought to us by way of Dublin, Ireland. Looking to push away the irrepressible stench of Dustin the Turkey even farther, Ireland has turned to Can-Linn and Kasey Smith. Can-they win one for Dublin and go crawlin’ in the streets?

Artist: Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith

Song: “Heartbeat”

Analysis: You know, I have mixed feelings about every bit of this deal. Decent electronic track, question the choice of including traditional Irish instruments on it (as opposed from going straight analog). Good singer, great lyrics, don’t know if this is the song to be doing it with. Decent vocals, but maybe there should be more vocalists to add to a sense of depth? I don’t know. And what the hell is with the two guys jigging?

Verdict: I buy that “Heartbeat” is a contender. I even buy that it could pop high in the finals, but I just don’t see where the votes are coming from. Also, I don’t see them beating out anyone from the first semis. This could be a dark horse, but again, I just don’t see it.