Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Selection Show

Over the last 37 days, I have broken down each Eurovsion entry and have given general impressions of how each will do. Today, we get specific as I break down my number one, two, three spot and Dark Horse picks.. The winner needs no explanation, of course. The Number two pick is my second choice. It does not necessarily mean that it is a second place song, it could even be up for the win. Lastly, the Dark Horse pick is the track that has no chance in Hell at winning, but I really like it, and hope it wins. More often than not, it’s a cheesy as hell song. Sometimes it’s just a track that’s real good, but not what people are listening to at the moment. So without further ado, here are my picks for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest!

WINNER: Hungary András Kállay-Saunders – “Running”

This track has it all: great vocals, meaningful lyrics, kickass DnB beat, this is prime for club play and radio play. Easily my favorite in the field.

NUMBER 2 PICK: Sweden Sanna Nielsen – “Undo”

This track is just what I would have assumed if I were looking for some future sounding pop ballad.

THREE SPOT: F.Y.E. Macedonia Tijana – “To the Sky”


The only reason why this track is at the three spot is because I don’t think Macedonia has the cash to host. All things considered, I would have to put this in a tie with Sweden.

DARK HORSE: San Marino Valentina Monetta – “Maybe (Forse)”

I’m not sure what it is about this song, but something tell me this track will surprise people….if Ms. Monetta would kindly please not eff it up.





Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Germany


Welcome to part 34 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s Big Five spotlight goes on Germany. Lena did her bit and brought the show to Berlin back in 2010, and almost pulled off a back to back. Can Elaiza swing it back for Germany?

Artist: Elaiza

Song: “Is It Right?”

Analysis: The song itself is just kind of boring. I appreciate the accordion and the standup bass, but those are novelties. Elaiza’s vocals don’t do much for me, and I would even go so far as saying that any decent female vocalist could have done this track better. Hell, it almost sounds like a track that I would have expected a stereotypical Balkan country or some ex-Soviet breakaway to come up with: depressing, boring, and not particularly good.

Verdict: I saw the selection show for this entry live, and I can safely say they picked the wrong entry. Let’s also call a spade a spade, there was no way Germany was winning this this year anyway, no matter who they picked. The best that Germany could have hoped for was a top five or top ten showing, and I’m pretty confident that neither will be happening.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Greece


Welcome to part 29 (God, are we really only at 29?) of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. It’s been eight years since Athens last had their season in the sun. It will take a lot of Greece’s entry’s namesake, Freaky Fortune, to deliver them a show. Let’s see what they’ve got:

Artist: Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd

Song: “Get Up”

Analysis: This is so much Pitbull laziness that it is kind of ridiculous.The lyrics are weak, the vocals are decent, and the track is probably the most phoned in that I have heard at Eurovision in a while. The performance itself is a little boring, and these guys look pretty damn douchey, so all things considered, it’s a perfect cloying pop track.

Verdict: This track has a pretty good shot at making the finals, but once there, it doesn’t go far. I don’t think they’ll get eviscerated, but they surely have no shot at winning this thing.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Ireland


Welcome to part 25 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is brought to us by way of Dublin, Ireland. Looking to push away the irrepressible stench of Dustin the Turkey even farther, Ireland has turned to Can-Linn and Kasey Smith. Can-they win one for Dublin and go crawlin’ in the streets?

Artist: Can-Linn feat. Kasey Smith

Song: “Heartbeat”

Analysis: You know, I have mixed feelings about every bit of this deal. Decent electronic track, question the choice of including traditional Irish instruments on it (as opposed from going straight analog). Good singer, great lyrics, don’t know if this is the song to be doing it with. Decent vocals, but maybe there should be more vocalists to add to a sense of depth? I don’t know. And what the hell is with the two guys jigging?

Verdict: I buy that “Heartbeat” is a contender. I even buy that it could pop high in the finals, but I just don’t see where the votes are coming from. Also, I don’t see them beating out anyone from the first semis. This could be a dark horse, but again, I just don’t see it.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Poland


Welcome to part 21 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition features probably one of the most…unique sounds coming out of the ESC. Fresh from Warsaw, Donatan & Cleo!

Artist: Donatan & Cleo

Song:  “My Słowianie – We Are Slavic”

Analysis: It took me about a full minute before it clicked it, but I finally get it. This chick is the Polish native version of MIA, or more specifically, this is kind of like the Polish native equivalent to “Paper Planes”. That is, female rapper, dub/electro beat, native instruments/feel.. Is this as good as “Paper Planes”? Hell no, but it is interesting…for at least ninety seconds. The vocals are kind of thrown at you, the beat’s okay, but there’s just nothing special here.

Verdict: You know, I’m not quite sure about this one. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt because I haven’t heard the rest of the offerings (or haven’t made their draft pages) yet and say they’ll clear the semis (barely), but there’s no way in hell they get into the top half of the finals.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Georgia

The Shin & Mariko

This is part 20 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is brought to us from sunny Tblisi, courtesy of Mariko & The Shin. Let’s find out if they will make the cut this year!

Artist: Mariko & The Shin

Song: “Three Minutes to Earth”

Analysis: Now, while there is a link to a live performance, I’m using the sponsored link because you can barely hear the song…which is a blessing and a curse, because even the shiny version is bad enough. Mariko tries too hard and hits all the big notes rather off key. The Shin doesn’t really sing so much as they chant, and they can’t even really do that harmoniously. Their only good skill: playing guitar. Their arpeggios are kind of complicated

Verdict: Nope, not going to happen. They should not even get out of the semis. If, somehow, by some fluke they do, they will be at the bottom.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Israel


Shalom! Part 18 of our 39 part run up to the start of the Eurovision Song Contest takes us to way too sunny Jerusalem as we break down Mei Finegold’s chances to bring the Contest home for Israel.

Artist: Mei Finegold

Song: “Same Heart”

Analysis: As with many other entries, no live video of this song exists. That is a bad sign. I was willing to give the vocals the benefit of the doubt (because the trance track by itself is pretty badass, as is the video), but we hit the chorus and I’m done. Does the track have a chance? Yes, on the strength of the track itself, but do I have doubts Mei Finegold can sing this live? Yes, and I don’t like the sound either. The vocals should be at least half an octave higher for what she’s trying to pull off. If you’re going to channel P!nk, you better have her range too, because it sounds like Finegold is struggling to save her voice to break into that second octave on big notes, and that key change near the end was barely noticeable until that slide down that just sounds awkward.

Verdict: It will be a halfway miracle if she gets in, but even if she does, she will be near the bottom. Politics aside, the song and vocals aren’t that strong, the only real good thing about this is the trance track in the back.