Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – France


Welcome to part 33 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. Today we take a look at our first Big Five contender. Straight from the les rues de Paris, let’s take a look at France’s…quirky entry from Twin Twin!

Artist: Twin Twin

Song: “Moustache”

Analysis: The problem that France has had since I started following the ESC is that their entries can’t be taken seriously. I loved Les Fatal Picards in 2007 because their track was credible AND good. As much as I like Sébastien Tellier, I couldn’t take him seriously in 2008, even though his song was pretty good. Ever since then, it’s been a mélange of phoning it in and absolute crap. Twin Twin is a definite upgrade from that disaster known as Jessy Matador, but alas, I can’t take them seriously. This Bob Sinclar “Love Generation”/”World Hold On” style beat is the only thing giving Twin Twin any shot. Vocals are crappy, don’t really mean anything. It’s just……

Verdict: I don’t see these guys winning, but at the same time, if everyone collectively ate some good drugs, I can see them making a push. If they win, my faith in the European music community will be shaken to the core.


Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Denmark


Welcome to part 32 of the 37 part breakdown of this years Eurovision Song Contest. We’ve come to the last week for the breakdown, and as such, we get into the Big Five and host countries entries! For those just joining the program, the Big Five are the countries who pay for it, which are France, England, Germany, Italy, and Spain. Because of this, they are automatically in through the Finals. The host country also gets the free pass, so today, we will start with the host country, Denmark!

Artist: Basim

Song: “Cliche Love Song”

Analysis: Okay, I know that back to back wins are not the most common thing, but Denmark has a real shot at this. The track is poppy (VERY poppy), which means it’s damn near impossible for Basim, who actually can sing (though this song is all more or less in the same octave) to mess up. Germany in 2010 and 2011 was the last country that I felt could pull it off, but I have a feeling that people are predisposed to shoot down the back to back attempt. Without re-litigating 2011 too much, “Taken By A Stranger” I don’t think was given the credit that it was due, and because “Satellite” was so quirky, we had to take a hard right to pop, hence “Running Scared”, “Euphoria” and “Only Teardrops” (Kylie Minogue/Sophie Ellis-Bextor, prototypical Zedd and Hayley Williams, and Taylor Swift, respectively).

Verdict: Given the field, it should blow through the countries who made it through semi-final 2, but I don’t think it gets much higher. There are too many other good songs, that I can’t justify it winning out, but I will give it high marks and a likely top ten finish.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Romania


Welcome to part 31 of our 37 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Today’s edition is special because it marks the last entry of the semis! Next week will be all Big five, and then Monday, May 5, I’ll post my picks. The country that gets the honor of being the last is… Romania!

Artist: Paula Seling & Ovi

Song: “Miracle”

Analysis: If I can count on the Romanians for one thing, it’s to come up with some kind of techno track, or a gimmicky song that has no chance in hell at winning for one reason or another. Vocals are decent for what it is, whoever came up with the track should probably enter this themselves

Verdict: I could totally work with this track, but I don’t think it’ll win only because I HIGHLY doubt Paula could pull off that hella long note through three or four octaves live. If she can and does, then this would be a dark horse, if not the dark horse choice.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Slovenia


Welcome to part 30 of our 37 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Tomorrow is the last entry in the semis (Whoo!) but today, we take a penultimate pause in Ljubljana to give Tinkara Kovač a shot to impress the oddsmakers

Artist: Tinkara Kovač

Song: “Round and Round”

Analysis: Wow, she’s a flautist, nice touch. Kovač is a good singer with a small range.  She’s a bit of a looker, so that I’m sure will work in her favor too. The song is poppy, but it works. It’s overall a good entry

Verdict: This song is surprisingly catchy. So much so that it automatically qualifies for dark horse contention. This song has a good shot at winning if she can keep it simple but add a spike of energy to it. It would likely be in the top half of the finals. I can even see it being top ten, but I’m not sure it will go down that way.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Greece


Welcome to part 29 (God, are we really only at 29?) of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. It’s been eight years since Athens last had their season in the sun. It will take a lot of Greece’s entry’s namesake, Freaky Fortune, to deliver them a show. Let’s see what they’ve got:

Artist: Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd

Song: “Get Up”

Analysis: This is so much Pitbull laziness that it is kind of ridiculous.The lyrics are weak, the vocals are decent, and the track is probably the most phoned in that I have heard at Eurovision in a while. The performance itself is a little boring, and these guys look pretty damn douchey, so all things considered, it’s a perfect cloying pop track.

Verdict: This track has a pretty good shot at making the finals, but once there, it doesn’t go far. I don’t think they’ll get eviscerated, but they surely have no shot at winning this thing.

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Switzerland


Welcome to…where are we at now? ..part 28 of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. A visit to the land of cheese and cuckoo clocks awaits us today, as we see if Sebalter has the goods to win!

Artist: Sebalter

Song: “Hunter of Stars”

Analysis: I don’t particularly dig country or folk, but okay, I see what you did there. Here’s a factoid for the Swiss: 100% of the tracks that opened to whistling have been miserable failures. Something to consider. Also, if you’re going to play violin, be good at it, and not tricky, and for God’s sake, you should be the only performer who’s going to be on stage if you are. Just ask Alexander Rybak about that.

Verdict: Sebalter is good enough to reach the finals, but I don’t think they’ll win it. I do anticipate a nice showing from them. 10th, maybe 11th, but I don’t see them poping off too huge

Eurovision Song Contest: Copenhagen 2014 – Macedonia


This is part…God, what are we up to now? 27  of our 39 part run up to the Eurovision Song Contest. Skopje is one of the last places on Earth one would remember existed, but will their entry to the Contest will definitely make you remember the name, and possibly host it? Let’s take a look!

Artist: Tijana

Song: “To the Sky”

Analysis: Well, it’s definitely a pop song, and it’s actually pretty well done. Tijana has a pretty good, albeit low, range, and has good command of it. The melody is quite catchy for a pop-techno track. There’s not that many lyrics, that is to say there’s a verse and then the chorus is repeated fifty-seven times, but that’s okay in this case, she’s doing more than enough to look beyond that issue. Whether or not she can do it for real, live, we’ll see.

Verdict: Definitely makes the finals. Definitely makes a good run, the question is how high? I can make a pretty good argument for the win. I don’t think it will since there are a few tracks that are better in my opinion, but she’s definitely top ten, maybe even top five.